


Heartbeat Express

by WaterHorseyBlues



Category: B.A.P
Genre: AU, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Romance, daejae - Freeform, this whole thing takes place on trains idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:43:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5324378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaterHorseyBlues/pseuds/WaterHorseyBlues
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae and Daehyun catch the same train home every week day and never speak a word. By a number of unexpected happenings, despite Daehyun annoying the hell out of Youngjae, they become close friends.<br/>It isn't until Youngjae vanishes unexpectedly that Daehyun realises exactly how much his travelling companion really was to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Stop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Xie who loves DaeJae a lot and is great](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Xie+who+loves+DaeJae+a+lot+and+is+great).



It was dark out in the empty landscapes between the cities. Empty fields sparkled under the light of the moon where frost encrusted every surface. The air bit any travellers out late with cold teeth and left them shivering, clouds of breath forming before their faces. The quiet of the evening was disturbed only by a few icy winds.

And then the distant rumbling of an approaching train. It cut through the dark silence like a bullet, carriages thundering loudly along the track and it's bright lights bathing the frosted landscape in gold. Hundreds of faces of hundreds of passengers gazed out as the world blurred past them behind glass windows that had long since steamed up.

The inside of the carriage was packed tight with strangers who were pushed closely against each other. The combined body heat was sweltering and had a number of passengers clinging on to anything for dear life as haziness overtook them. One such hazy passenger was a young man with fluffy brown hair and a thick comfortable sweater that he was starting to severely hate as the journey continued on.

Youngjae hated the holiday season.

Okay, he didn't hate the holiday season, but he hated the train service around that time. Normally this train only had a handful of people when he was trying to get home from college, but when mid-winter rolled around the place was packed as people started frantically shopping. It made travelling between cities absolute chaos.

The train slowed and jerked to a halt, throwing most of the passengers off their feet. Including Youngjae, who fell hard into someone else.

“Ouf! Sorry, sorry about that.” He turned his head a little as he tried to straighten himself up, looking at the person he'd crashed into.

It was him.

It was that guy.

He was roughly Youngjae's age with hair cut into a neat fringe and a sun-kissed complexion. He blinked down at him with soft eyes and smiled, the glint of vague recognition and mild curiosity in his eyes.

They were forced to press against each other as passengers emptied off the train and new ones got on, giving them slightly less room than they had before. Youngjae was parted from his hold on a nearby bar and wobbled unsteadily as the train started up again. The other boy rested a secure hand on his shoulder and Youngjae mumbled out a small thanks, but inside he was thanking fate that the next train stop was his.

They continued on for an uncomfortable few moments of silence as Youngjae tried not to have any part of him pressed against the other, who seemed mostly unaffected by the whole affair. He kept his gaze down in the hopes of getting this over with quickly. If the boy holding onto him got another look at his face he'd spend every evening journey on this train feeling horribly awkward. It was Friday and if he get off with no encounter there would be the whole weekend to forget this happened and Monday would be just a regular day where he'd make sure he wasn't near the other in case this happened again.

The train jerked slightly and he was pushed to the side, stumbling a little. The other boy grabbed hold of him to keep him steady and, forgetting what he'd been trying to do, he glanced at him to thank him once more. Then the recognition set in.

“Hey, you're the guy who's always on this train this time in the evening, right?” the other boy asked. His thick Busan accent did not come as much of a surprise, somehow.

Youngjae cursed every single person on the train who could've been between them but instead pushed them together, “Yeah. Yeah that's me,” Youngjae answered, willing the train to go a little bit faster.

“Thought so. I see you almost every day, you'd think I'd know you sight by now. Guess I'm not as observant as I hoped I was.” He laughed a little too loud for Youngjae's comfort. “Name's Daehyun, what's yours?”

He was reluctant to answer, but Daehyun's expectant grin was too powerful to avoid. “Youngjae,” He replied, turning his gaze to the unclear windows in the hope of judging how far they had to go.

“Glad we're finally introduced. You can't help but get curious about people you see around all the time.”

“Hmm,” Youngjae replied with the most non-committal noise he could manage. He disagreed entirely.

“This is your stop coming up now, right?”

“How would you-” Youngjae began to ask, but the train slowed and jerked to a halt, sending him sprawling against Daehyun again.

“Heading anywhere nice?” Daehyun asked, still smiling as he helped Youngjae straighten himself out.

“Home,” he replied, and forced himself out of the train as quickly as he could and half sprinted along the platform, desperate to put distance between himself and that guy.


	2. Cut Signal

Monday pulled itself into life's station and screeched to an unsteady halt in front of Youngjae, who reluctantly climbed on board.

He'd made an effort to deliberately miss his usual train. He was sitting around for another hour waiting for the next one, but it meant he missed the frantic crowds. It also meant not seeing Daehyun. The embarrassment of their last encounter still clung to him like the winter chill.

The moon was full and the stars shone a little bit more clearly than usual, though dimmed out by the orange glow of the street lights below. The dark of the night sat more intently at this hour, making each shadow depthless like black paint spilled on every surface. As the next train approached, it seemed like some unfortunate soul fleeing from creatures in the dark, torch in hand for defence, and only slowed when they reached the safety of the city lights.

Youngjae climbed on board, shivering from the cold thankful for the empty carriage as he slumped down on the closest seat.

“Oh! Hey, I didn't think I'd see you on this train! What a weird coincidence.”

He opened his eyes. It wasn't an empty carriage at all. On the opposite side down the other end, sat Daehyun. The other boy was wrapped up in a thick coat and grinning at him like he'd just told a hilarious joke.

“Why...?” Youngjae only half asked, amazed at his own misfortune.

“Those crowds were pretty awful last time. I thought I should give the earlier train a miss and catch the next one. Guessing you thought the same?” He took Youngjae's stunned silence for confirmation and carried on, “Weird how we both did the same thing. I suppose after last time it was the most obvious choice, right?” As he spoke, little clouds of breath formed in front of him.

“Yeah..” Youngjae narrowed his eyes and looked away. He pulled out his earbuds and stuck them in, blocking out any more attempts at communication. Daehyun seemed to get the hint and instead took to tapping on his phone to entertain himself. There was a moment when he glanced up at Youngjae and the back down at his phone, grinning as he typed. _Is he talking about me to his friends?_ Youngjae briefly considered getting off at the next stop and waiting for a different train, but in the end he decided simply ignoring the other boy was easy enough once his music was turned up.

It was always a long journey, but somehow the awkwardness that Youngjae felt towards the other boy made it far longer. Not to mention the seeping cold that steamed his breath and stung his skin. He fixed his gaze on the world outside as huge towerblocks and mazes of streets slipped away into the outer-town suburbs. Eventually all signs of civilisation dissolved into fields that glistened under the light from the train's windows, and distant hills that inkblotted out the starry sky. Not a soul trudged through the icy countryside this late in this evening.

Behind the beats of his music, Youngjae could just make out the tinny voice of an announcement being made. He pulled his earbuds out just in time to hear “...Delayed until further notice.”

The train slowed to a halt, paused in the middle of a track like a child's toy that had been forgotten. Without the trundle of wheels and the wind whipping past, the carriage was eerily silent. He glanced over at Daehyun, who had looked his way at the same time with raised eyebrows. They stared at each other for a moment, neither knowing how to respond to the situation. Then the lights flickered and went out.

The train was almost invisible from outside without the lights to illuminate it's location. The landscape around it turned into a black pool, lit only by the moon that left silvery sparkles on the frost. Inside the carriage, everything vanished from view. The only guidance the two boys had was the windows which displayed clear stars and the full moon. Otherwise, everything was one unclear shape.

“Wow. I wonder how long we'll be stuck like this.” Daehun's voice broke the silence so clearly that Youngjae flinched. He'd almost expected the darkness to muffle sounds as well.

“I hear the last part of the announcement, about the 'until further notice' bit. What did I miss?”

“Not a whole lot. Just saying we were stopping here because of some technical difficulties. Apparently the signal isn't reaching here. I think there's a few trains in front of us as well that are delayed.”

“Jeez...” Youngjae glanced out of the window behind him, tilting his head in case he could see further up the tracks. Everything was as unclear outside as it was inside, only the gentle curve of the landscape giving him any indication of what he was seeing. What he was seeing, wasn't an awful lot.

“Hah, this is funny. Last time we were on a train that was so packed I could barely breathe, but the train was moving. Today we're on the emptiest train I've been on in years and we're come to a dead stop. Good thing we both got on this one. Imagine being alone on this train? How spooky would that be?”

Youngjae closed his eyes and considered putting his earbuds back in. He could've had a nice quiet train journey home, just him and his music. He probably could've done some work towards his assignments since there'd be no one around to bother him. But instead he was stuck with this chatty Busan kid.

“Full moon. No one else around for miles. No idea how long we'll be stuck here. It's like a horror film.”

Youngjae felt a cold chill run up his back. What was this kid implying? Was he going to kill him? Was Youngjae's mediocre college student lifestyle going to be cut suddenly short by a creepy over-talkative guy on the train?

Something hit the glass suddenly and he let out a shriek, falling off his seat. The dazed bird flapped against the glass, apparently just as startled as Youngjae was, and managed to flap away. When the shock wore off, Youngjae realised Daehyun was howling with laughter.

“At first I thought you'd been jumped by someone but then I saw the bird all confused on the glass. Oh wow! Where are you? Come on, I'll help you up.”

A pair of hands batted against Youngjae's face and he reached up and grabbed Daehyun's wrists. There was an awkward struggle as they both tried to work out how to get Youngjae standing again without Daehyun losing his balance in the darkness. Eventually they were both stood steadily, still grabbing hold of each other's arms.

“You okay now?” Daehyun asked.

“Yeah. Thanks for helping me up. I can't see a thing.” Youngjae replied, hoping he was facing Daehyun properly.

There was an awkward silence as they both stood there, holding onto each other still and blinking at the darkness.

“We should probably sit down. If the train moves and we're standing we'll both end up falling over. Then who would help us up?”

“The lights would probably come on by then, because if the train is moving then the power will return to the lights.”

“Ah! Good point. But we might be blinded when the lights come back on and fall over anyway.”

“Whatever,” Youngjae sighed, and pulled a hand free to feel for a chair. He patted the cushioned seat and lowered himself onto it, letting go of the other boy completely.

“Wait, don't let go. I don't know where you are now. Where did you sit?”

“I'm down here,” Youngjae replied, rolling his eyes, “There's empty seats everywhere, just pick one.”

“I can't even tell where the divides between the seats are, hang on a sec-” Daehyun was halfway through his words when he tripped over Youngjae's legs and sprawled across his lap.

“Oh my God! You had an entire carriage of empty seats and you managed to end up in the only one I'm occupying. Get off!” He gave Daehyun a shove, and felt him scramble off his lap.

“Sorry!” Daehyun's voice spoke from somewhere to his left, gasping with laughter, “How did I even manage that? I'm worse at this than I thought- considering I walk home in darkness all the time!”

“What's that got to do with anything?”

“Well... I don't know. I thought my eyes might be better?”

“Are there street lights when you walk home?”

“Yes...”

“Then you can't have magically better eyesight in the dark if there are lights leading the way. There's no light here so obviously neither of us can see at all.”

“Oh! I have an idea!”

Before Youngjae could ask, Daehyun was fumbling with something and suddenly the blinding white light of his phone's torch filled the space between them. Youngjae flinched back and closed his eyes until the blue spots in his vision faded, then cracked an eyelid open until his eyes got used to it.

Daehyun was beaming at his idea, tan skin washed out by the bright light and eyes glimmering.

“We could have used our phone torches this entire time...”

“Yep!”

“As in, we could have used our phone torches instead of stumbling around in the dark and you falling all over my lap.”

“Um. Yes. Yes we could have.” Daehyun's grin dropped a little, but only for a moment before another grin tugged at his lips and he started to laugh.

Youngjae watched him disdainfully, but the other boy's laughter was far too infectious and before long he was barely stifling his own sniggers. They sat and laughed together, their laughter forming white clouds between them that shone under the harsh phone light. When they settled down, Youngjae skimmed through his own phone and turned the torch on so they had better lighting.

They set the phones between them on the seats like a campfire. Despite what he'd felt earlier, Youngjae was thankful for Daehyun's presence. Being alone on an empty train at night, broken down in the middle of nowhere, would probably have had him in hysterics by now. Though he didn't shut up once he got started, his positivity kept Youngjae in a good mood despite the circumstances.

“So, you know when I get off my stop. How much longer are you on the train for?” Youngjae asked.

“Oh, I'm on until the end of the line.” He let out a laugh at Youngjae's stunned face. “If you think that's bad, I get on at the second stop.”

“You must be on this train for... Wait a second let me work this out.”

“Thee hours. Half an hour before you board, an hour after you alight.”

“You- Why do you know that?” Youngjae narrowed his eyes.

“Because I pay attention!”

“That's really weird, Daehyun.”

“It's not weird! When you share a train with someone for ages you just start paying attention to these things.”

“Did you just miss seeing my beautiful face that much?”

“Wha- No, I- I'm-” Daehyun's face went visibly pink.

“Why are you getting so flustered? I was joking,” Youngjae sniggered.

Daehyun's eyes widened and he scrunched his face into a pout, “That's not funny!”

“But it really was, though.”

Daehyun puffed his cheeks out and huffed. “It's actually because I like to know what hours I'm free from seeing you so I can appreciate those moments.”

“Oh shut up! You're the one who's been throwing themselves all over me.”

“Helping you out is throwing myself all over you? Next time I'll let you fall to the ground when the train is full and laugh at you.”

“Hey I am never getting that train again, it's way too packed for me. Anyway you were just all over my lap.”

“Only because your big feet got in my way!

They continued like this back and forth teasing and banter while they waited for any sort of development on the train. Soon enough the nonsense turned into light conversation as they started talking a little bit about their lives.

“You commute from one city to another just to study?” Daehyun asked, amazed.

“It's the best place I can study without paying ridiculously high rent. It worked out cheaper to get the train every day than actually live near it. Besides, my family help out a little in exchange for me doing chores. What about you? You go three hours, what for?”

“I commute to work. Similar to you but just a longer journey.”

“Work?” Youngjae asked, blinking with surprise, “How old are you?”

“Nineteen. Why? How old are you?”

“I'm eighteen! How do you have a job?”

“It's nothing big or fancy. Okay it's kind of fancy. There's this high end restaurant that has live music and I sing there during the afternoons.”

“You sing... In a fancy restaurant... At the age of nineteen.”

Daehyun grinned shyly and scratched the back of his neck. “It's a bit embarrassing, right?”

“No? It's not embarrassing at all. That's so cool. I feel like my entire college class is worthless now.”

“Why, what do you study?”

It was Youngjae's turn to be embarrassed as he looked away. “Musical theatre,” he mumbled.

“Wow! Are you going to be on stage?”

“Maybe...”

“Ah! Definitely tell me when you're performing. I'll come and see you and be like 'Hey, I know that guy. That's the guy I stopped from being trampled to death on a train one time' and everyone will be really impressed.”

“That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard,” Youngjae snorted, turning his gaze away to hide the grin that was spreading across his face.

“No it's not. Come on, you have to get me free tickets. Train-pals benefits!

Youngjae snorted. “Fine but only if you get me a nice seat and free food at your fancy restaurant on a day you're singing.”

“What? That's way too much for-”

He was cut short as an announcement spoke over the speakers, stating that the train would be moving again. With a roar of the engines and a flicker of the lights, the train was back to full power.

“Hey!” Daehyun grinned, “We're moving again!”

“Very perceptive of you, I wouldn't have noticed otherwise.” Daehyun shot him a look and he grinned back. “I'll take it as a sign. You now have to get me free food some time.”

“You college students always asking for free things...”

“Hey, when I'm rich and famous and on Broadway I'll get you free tickets.”

“Fine. But I'm holding you to that.”

The two boys chuckled at their strange agreement and spent the rest of their journey together talking. When Youngjae reached his stop, he made Daehyun promise to catch the later train again so they could accompany each other on the journey once more.


	3. Connection Lines

Daehyun drummed his hands on his knees as he watched the station roll across his view. The orange city lights twinkled and glittered like cinders in a dimming fire. They gave a deceptive image of warmth that contrasted to the chill that the waiting people at the station protected themselves against. When the train stopped moving and the doors clicked open, Daehyun sat up with searching eyes.

A few people boarded the strain and he scanned their faces, peering between scarves and woolly hats and upturned collars for those sleek eyes and high cheekbones. When he couldn't identify them among the people around him, he glanced down the neighbouring carriages. He normally sat in the middle one, but this wasn't his normal train. It was the later train.

It had probably been more of a joking agreement, and he'd only just started speaking to the guy, but his stomach sunk a little when he couldn't find Youngjae among the new passengers. He probably should have seen this coming, he reasoned, but he _had_ waited an extra hour just to make sure the two could chat on their journey. A rush of disappointment washed over him as the doors started to close and for a moment he felt incredibly stupid.

That is, until a familiar voice yelled out and there was an almighty thud of someone leaping onto the train. Daehyun jerked his head towards the sight of Youngjae, pink faced and breathless, doubled over in the entry way of the carriage.

He couldn't help it. He began to laugh. “How were you late for the late train?” He asked between giggles.

Youngjae threw him a sharp glare. “My rehearsals ran over and the bus was stuck in traffic. Quit laughing at me! I only rushed because of our dumb promise. Otherwise I'd have jumped on a coach.”

“Awww, I'm glad our agreement meant so much to you. I knew that deep past those scathing remarks and cruel words you had a warm heart that was just lost in the winter cold.”

“Oh my God, I will get off at the next stop if you don't shut up,” Youngjae grumbled as a flopped down in the seat next to Daehyun.

“This is fate, Youngjae. You're like the cold city guy that needs someone to warm their soul with kindness and love.”

“You're talking about us like we're characters in some kind of badly written romance story,” Youngjae said, nose scrunched at Daehyun's batting eyelashes.

“Maybe we are. Maybe you've had a secret raging boner for me since I fell on your lap?”

“That's it, I'm moving to the next carriage.”As Youngjae pretended to stand, Daehyun grabbed hold of his arm.

“Nooooo! I'll keep off the overt acts of affection until chapter four when you've come to find my playful ways endearing.”

“Stop saying weird things. Let go of my arm!” He shook Daehyun off, who fell into another fit of laughter.

As the journey rumbled on, they fell back into their previous light conversation as they got to know each other a little bit better. Youngjae talked about his brother and Daehyun talked about his. They discussed their singing training and their first time on stage. When they started discussing embarrassing experiences on stage they both fell into wheezing laughter, collapsed against each other.

When they both settled down, they were leant on one another. The cold air around them seemed less of a problem as their warm bodies shared heat. The gentle thrum of the train barely covered the sounds of them getting their breaths back. With the gentle motion of the train, the late evening darkness outside, the silence that had settled between them, the warmth they shared and the comfortable coat-clad shoulder he was leaning against, Youngjae felt about ready to fall asleep right there.

Until Daehyun spoke up again.

“So your rehearsals kept you late? What happened.”

“Ugh,” Youngjae scrunched his face at the memory of what had caused him such trouble, “We have this guy in my class who's a little bit older, but he's such a diva.”

Daehyun snorted. “A diva?”

“Yeah. He's so flamboyant and ridiculous. He's a brilliant actor and he knows it, and he's got a good voice too. He just flaunts his abilities and bosses us around.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Worst part is he's got this kid who follows him around like a puppy.”

“Aaah, classic villain and side-kick duo.” Daehyun nodded knowingly, “Its like you're Gabriella and they're Sharpay and Ryan.”

Youngjae blinked at him slowly. “I can't believe you made a High School Musical reference at me.”

“If the glove fits~”

“I'm never catching the train with you again.”

“Nooooo! I take it back. Just tell me about your musical nemesis. We can plan defeating him in a grand evil scheme.”

“Okay that's stupid, but whatever. He's just... People let him get away with stuff because he's pretty and everyone loves him.

“You think he's pretty?”

“That's it. I'm leaving. I can see empty seats in the next carriage.”

“I'm joookiiiiinggg~”

“Fine, I'll stay. What about you, got any problem people where you work?”

Daehyun pursed his lips as he thought about it. “Not really. We have this one kid who's a waiter. He's good, really cute and all, but he's in awe of one of our other waiters and he embarrasses himself all the time. He's trying to be as cool and collected as him, but this kid is like a hundred meters tall and the mysterious cool guy thing doesn't work out for him so well.”

Youngjae snorted. “A million meters tall?”

“More or less! We all have to look up at him and he's younger than all of us. He only works part time and I swear the only reason they haven't fired him is because customers think he's adorable. When he's not trying to be just like the other guy he's really competent and the kid has reflexes like I've never seen. He'll be holding all these plates and see someone drop something and he'll catch it with a finger.” Daehyun emphasises this last bit by pretending to grab at Youngjae's face, making the younger flinch back.

“Sounds like entertainment more than anything.”

“Yeah, mostly. But the guy he looks up to really is cool. He's got this awesome deep voice and this really tough-guy look about him, but he's actually really nice. I swear he's been enlightened at some point, the things he says.”

“Are you in awe of him too? Do you mess up your songs while you stare at your crush?” Youngjae sniggered.

“Nevermind, you can definitely move carriage. Go on, go away.” Daehyun gave Youngjae a shove.

The younger burst out laughing and batted away Daehyun's insistent hands, thoroughly glad he'd managed to make it on the late train. The agreement to tease this boy every day after college was definitely a good decision, he decided. 


	4. Some Delays

The festive season was at full pelt, streaking through everyone's life with the force of a freight train that left a trail of tinsel and fairy lights in its wake. Daehyun's face still sparkled from the glitter that had been scattered all over the place and had inevitably ended up on every inch of the employees. He'd have been far more bothered about this, if it weren't for the fact that lately Youngjae had been smeared with brightly coloured eye make-up for his dress rehearsals.

Today, Daehyun remembered, would be Youngjae's last day of college before the winter break. However, the younger boy mourned during their last journey, he would still be heading back for rehearsal time up until mid-late December. This worked out quite well for Daehyun, who would have a short break from his work to spend time with his family. If either of them would be travelling home alone at any point, it wouldn't be for long until they were both back to their usual schedules.

Daehyun waited patiently as the handful of passengers boarded. It wasn't unusual for Youngjae to be a little bit late these days. The younger boy was always running on the train just in time before the doors closed. Rehearsals seem to have been keeping him on the verge of lateness for some time.

When the doors shut, Daehyun blinked at them as though they'd spoken. He heard the bustle of the train conductors and the high pitched whistles echoing around the station. As the train burst into life, he felt himself die a little inside.

Had Youngjae just not bothered for the last day? Had he decided to catch a bus instead? Was he spending time with his classmates for their last session?

Daehyun's thoughts were interrupted by the slam of something against the side of the train and he jerked back into the real world. Youngjae was pressed against the doors, finger furiously mashing the button to let him in. He glanced up and locked eyes with Daehyun, a frantic expression on his face. Daehyun stared back, completely at a loss.

The cool metal of the train started to slide past Youngjae's hands, almost catching on his clothes. Daehyun could see him mouthing curses as he stumbled alongside the train as it headed off. Daehyun shot up from his seat and stood at the window, hands pressed against the cold trembling glass, trying to communicate anything to Youngjae. Eventually the younger started to slow down, tired as the train picked up speed.

“Next one.” He mouthed and shrugged a little, defeated.

Daehyun nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched his companion get smaller and smaller, waving his hands sadly. He waved back, not having much effort in him to do so.

It would be a long, quiet journey without Youngjae.

 

 

Youngjae crumpled in on himself on the latest train home. It was far too late for any sane person to be travelling alone and there was only one carriage on this train. It was just him on this ride. With his earbuds stuck firmly in and music turned up, he didn't even pay attention when the train paused at the stop just after the one he got on. It wasn't until someone yanked his earbud out that he even looked up.

“Hey, I always greet you when you get on the train,” a familiar thick Busan accent reprimanded, cutting him off before he could even complain, “You could at least greet me.”

Youngjae looked up into Daehyun's tired face, pink with cold but stretched into the usual grin. “You... Waited for me?” He asked, stunned.

“Obviously! I wasn't going to let you travel alone!” Daehyun plopped himself down next to Youngjae. “It's freezing outside! I'm definitely not wearing enough layers. It's not too cold when I get on the train and usually by the time I get off I'll be able to grab a hot drink and some food to keep me warm on the way home. I managed to get a heated panini from the station shop while I waited, but it's different when you're walking to when you're sat still for an hour!”

Youngjae stared at the chatty boy, still unable to process the information. “You... Waited around to get on the same train as me so you could accompany me home?”

“Yes,” Daehyun sighed exasperatedly, “That's what I'm telling you.”

Youngjae dropped his gaze down to his lap and felt a sudden surge of gratefulness for the older. “Thank you,” he mumbled into his collar.

Daehyun snorted, “Don't mention it. What kept you late? Rehearsals? Was it that diva guy?”

“Ugh,” Youngjae shuddered at the thought, “He was such a nightmare today. We're all stressed about the performance and our exams and he just kept saying things weren't good enough. Even his sidekick got tired of his nonsense and told him to shut up. I wish he'd spoken up a little sooner, though. I might have actually got out on time.”

“Ooh. Sounds like rebellion. Viva la revolution! Now is the time to rise forces against him and take your throne!”

Youngjae rolled his eyes, “Sure. I'll keep that in mind.”

“You could get a crown. Does the diva guy wear a crown? Please tell me he does. It says something like 'Queen Primadonna' or something on it, right? We can get you one like that.”

“No, he doesn't.”

“That's a shame. I'm sure I can find you one like that anyway. 'Pretty Princess' or something like that.” Daehyun sniggered at Youngjae's narrowed eyes.

“Your hair,” Youngjae commented, and reached out a hand to bat an explosion of glitter from Daehyun's head. The neat brown locks were incredibly soft to the touch. “It looks like a fairy died in it.”

“Hey, you don't get to say that. You literally have blue smears all over your face.”

“At least I tried to clean it- wait, your whole face is glittering. Did you go to a drag show while you waited?”

“No! This is for work!”

“You're a drag queen now?”

“No! It's just decoration that got all over me!”

“Really? You sure you're not hiding a stuffed bra under that coat?”

“I regret my decisions. I should have laughed in your face and stayed on that train. I could be nearly home by now.”

Youngjae sniggered, but they subsided quickly. He chewed his nails nervously before speaking again, “Seriously, that was really nice of you to wait. You didn't have to, you know.”

“I know,” Daehyun said, looking away, “But I wanted to. I like talking to you when I go home.”

Youngjae felt warmth rush up his neck and into his ears. He dropped his gaze down to his lap, trying to quell the burst of emotion that fluttered around his chest like fireflies.

There was a long silence between them as they refused to look at each other. Though neither of them noticed, they both sported equally red cheeks. It wasn't until the silence dragged on a little too long for Youngjae's comfort that he stuck up conversation.

“So, uh, was everyone covered in glitter or just you?”

“Oh jees, you should have seen it. The tough guy just got waaaay too excited about the glitter and by the end of it he looked like some cheap kids toy,” Daehyun happily responded, falling immediately back into his chatty self, “The tall kid's mind was just blown. I think he'd been trying to avoid the glitter to be cool but this guy was just throwing it about and laughing. It was magical.”

Youngjae felt a smile pull across his face as he listened to Daehyun talk, and it wasn't until a few minutes later he realised he'd completely lost track of what the older boy was actually saying. It didn't matter, he reasoned to himself as Daehyun talked on without break.

 

He didn't know at what point he'd dozed off, but with a little shake he found himself waking up. The side of his face was squashed against something soft, and as he breathed he inhaled a comforting musk that filled his senses.

“Hey, Youngjae. This is your stop. You need to get up.” Daehyun's voice was soft, very close to his face where his warm breath brushed over his skin.

He sat up blearily, suddenly aware that he'd been slumped against Daehyun's shoulder, and saw that what he'd said was true. His station was right in front of him and the doors were opening.

“Oh. Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep.”

Daehyun laughed a little. “No, it's fine. You look so tired. Go on, go home before you fall asleep again.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied groggily, “Thanks for waking me up. You're great.”

He reached back as he stood up, patting Daehyun's head but mostly batting him in the face. Daehyun reached up and took hold of his hand to save himself, but held it for a little moment longer than necessary.

“Get home safe, yeah?”

Youngjae glanced down at him, midway through rubbing his eyes. “Yeah. You too. See you around.”

They smiled at each other, and Youngjae half stumbled off the train. Instead of heading off like usual, he waited around to wave Daehyun goodbye until the two of them were small dots in the distance to one another.

The rest of the journey home, Daehyun felt a strange emptiness where Youngjae had been sleeping on him, and briefly wondered what would have happened if he'd let him stay asleep until they reached the last stop.  


	5. Side Tracked

The night air tingled with the promise of snow. There was a difference in the coldness – a dryness that suggested all the moisture was too cold to hover in the air. The clouds looked thick and heavy, ready to shed pieces of white over the landscape like icing sugar. Every surface shimmered with ice, sparkling where the artificial light spilled across the floor and walls like orange and white glitter had been thrown all over the place. There was a buzz of excitement among the people.

Soon rehearsals would be done, exams would be over and Youngjae would be free. He could sleep and lounge around in his underwear and spend time with his family and watch films and do whatever he liked. He just had to get through one last day.

He hopped onto the train as it boarded and barely even had to think as his legs automatically carried him to the seat beside Daehyun. The older boy grinned and moved his bag off the chair, freeing it up for Youngjae. At some point he'd started reserving seats for his companion, and though Youngjae had teased him about it he had to admit it made him feel pretty special.

“What's this? A major case of dandruff?” He asked, batting at Daehyun's hair and shoulders where there was a fine layer of white bits clinging to him.

“No! It's fake snow. They swapped from glitter because it got in everyone's food and was a nightmare to clean up. Hey!” He raised a hand to try to wrestle Youngjae off, who was combing his fingers through those smooth strands to get out the white bits.

“You should learn to sort yourself out before you get on a train, people will think you've got a scalp problem.”

“Okay mother, whatever you say.” He sniggered at the sharp look on Youngjae's face. “You can't talk, you haven't even tried to remove your make-up today. What's even happening here? Your eyeliner just keeps going.” He raised a finger and trailed it along the side of the younger's face, following the painted-on wing.

“I didn't have time today. I barely had time to get out of costume!” Youngjae replied, leaning away from his touch.

“Ah! That's right, today was your practical exam. How did it go?”

Youngjae was quiet for a while, trying to think of how to explain it. Daehyun shifted a little, nervous that he'd accidentally caused him some trouble.

“Not actually that bad,” Youngjae answered after a moment, giving Daehyun a strange sense of relief. “Diva guy was pretty well behaved, and his sidekick was more in control of himself today. I think the tension was just getting too much. We did well, I think. We've made plans to meet up on results day and celebrate... Or cry together, depending on the outcome.”

Daehyun grinned and let out a light chuckle, “I'm sure you did amazingly. I bet everyone was blown away by your performance! Even if you totally mess up your theory exam tomorrow it won't even matter!” He saw Youngjae's face pale considerably and quickly added, Not that you will! Because you're really smart and you'll definitely ace it!”

Youngjae threw him a look that seemed to think otherwise, and Daehyun slung an arm around his shoulders.

“You will be fine! I bet I'll see you tomorrow and you'll be all bouncing and happy! Hey, I know, I'll get you a gift for when you're done!”

“A gift..?” Youngjae raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, like an incentive. So if you get stuck in the exam you'll think 'Ah, I can't do badly! The really cool and super handsome guy I get the train home with has got me something and I need to work hard to earn it' and then you'll definitely get one-hundred percent!”

Youngjae was shaking his head, but unable to keep the laughter from escaping. “You're an idiot. But fine, you can do that if you want. If it's a bag of glitter or fake snow, though, I might kill you.”

“Nah. It's going to be decent make-up wipes.”

“You ass!” Youngjae gave Daehyun a shove, but the older didn't even mind with how hard he was laughing.

They fell back into their usual conversation, talking about their plans for the holidays and resolutions for the upcoming year.

“I think I might get an undercut for the new year,” Daehyun said, twiddling a lock of his hair in his fingers. It has grown out of it's neat cut in the time they'd got to know each other.

“An undercut?” Youngjae asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah! It'll make it easier to manage and I can style it however I like. It'll suit my new outlook on life. You know- new year new me?”

“New you? Thank God, this you was really starting to get on my nerves.”

“Shut up,” Daehyun gave Youngjae a light punch to the shoulder. “What about you?”

“Well my resolutions are far more meaningful. Far more romantic.”

“Romantic?” Daehyun asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah,” Youngjae replied proudly, “I'm going to confess to someone.”

Daehyun felt his stomach drop. He should have been happy about this news, but for some reason those words made this mouth dry and his inside twist up into knots. “Confess?” He asked, voice hoarse.

“Um, yeah.” Youngjae looked a little sheepish now, not meeting his eyes.

Daehyun shook off the gnawing feeling of wrongness and gave Youngjae a playful slap on the back. “Look at this Casanova right here! A real modern-day Romeo. You've got no reason to worry, a handsome guy like you. No one in their right mind could reject a face like yours.”

“You think?”Youngjae asked, unconsciously biting his nails.

“Well... Maybe not your face right now, considering you look like you've stepped straight out of a production of We Will Rock You.”

Youngjae slapped his shoulder and huffed, “You're such an ass!”

“Woah! So violent. Better not show your crush this side of you otherwise you'll never get a date!”

“Hm,” Youngjae hummed and looked away, biting his nails again.

Daehyun blinked at the strange behaviour and shifted in his seat a little. The two boys fell into an uneasy silence, neither wanting to be the first to talk.

The train trundled on, the steady rumbling of the wheels and the carriages were the only noises made. The city scape had slipped away by now and they were deep in the darkness of the countryside. With only the moon and stars visible, they might have been sailing through a dark sea, or floating through space.

“Woah,” came Youngja's soft voice.

Daehyun glanced at him, and watched as the younger stood and walked over to the furthest window to look out. He followed suit, standing to take a look at what had caught his attention.

The moon was huge, glowing disk in the sky like a stage light, surrounded by clear twinkling stars. The frosted landscape below was lit up, each curve of the hills and fields outlined in silver. The yellow light from the train flickered and danced over the immediate ground, constantly warping in shape. Only a thin part of the fields was unlit, like a river between the two coloured lights.

The view was astounding, but somehow it wasn't what Daehyun was mesmerised by. The yellow light of the train made a soft halo on Youngjae's hair and bathed his skin in a slight gold tone. But his eyes made Daehyun's chest tighten. The night sky was reflected in his dark eyes, the moon and stars shimmering as clear as if they belonged there. Surrounded by his eccentric stage make-up, Youngjae looked unearthly. It filled the older boy with a great sense of loneliness as he thought how far from his grasp the younger seemed.

Then Youngjae turned his head, and the spell was broken. “How cool does that look? It's like a painting.” He blinked at Daehyun's expression, “You okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. I was miles away.” Even as he said those words, he felt that it was Youngjae who miles away. Miles from Daehyun.

Youngjae snorted and started to say something, but the train gave an almighty jerk and threw the two boys down. They hit the floor in a heap and there was a short moment where they both groaned in discomfort and pain, before their eyes locked.

Daehyun was flat on his back, hair fanned out from his face and hand gripping firmly onto the closest thing to him – which turned out to have been Youngjae's upper arm. Youngjae himself was on top of him, one arm braced against the ground and the other tucked between them against Daehyun's chest where he'd been grabbed and yanked down. Their legs were awkwardly positioned with their thighs tucked together. Their faces were inches apart, wide eyes staring and mouths still open in surprise.

There was no one else on the carriage. Just the two boys laying on the floor and gazing at one another. They didn't know how long they stayed that way, but neither seemed in a rush to change things.

“Who were you going to confess to?” Daehyun barely whispered, his breath tickling Youngjae's lips.

“What?” Youngjae frowned slightly, taken aback by this question.

“I...” Daehyun licked his lips nervously, “I don't think you should.”

“Why?” Youngjae pushed himself up, detangling his legs and freeing himself from Daehyun's grip.

“I don't know.”

“Are you scared it's going to change things?”

Daehyun didn't catch Youngjae's look, too busy staring down at his hands. “Maybe.”

“Hm.”

They both pulled themselves back into seats on opposite sides of the carriage, though they didn't look at one another. The rest of the journey continued in silence.

When Youngjae's stop arrived, the younger stood and went to leave.

“Youngjae?”

“Yeah?”

“See you tomorrow? Don't forget about my gift, yeah?” Daehyun forced a grin.

“Hm.” Youngjae didn't look at him as he stepped onto his station and walked away to the exit.

Daehyun hung his head and prayed the journey home would last forever.

 


	6. Cancelled

He had to talk to him, Youngjae decided as he rushed onto the platform, kicking snow from the bottom of his shoes. _Maybe he misunderstood? Maybe he feels rushed?_ Youngjae mulled these thoughts over as he batted more snow from his shoulders and took his hat off to shake it clean. Everywhere below his knees was soaked with snow and stiff with ice. It had been a nightmare to get to the station on time. Even as he glanced up to look at the timetable, white flakes were falling past his vision.

His heart stopped.

Delayed. Every single train had that single word plastered across it in angry orange letters. Except his. His was the only train that wasn't delayed. Every single one of the possible trains he could jump on to see Daehyun – and get home, of course – said something far worse.

 **CANCELLED**.

The word cut into his core, burned itself into his retinas and tattooed itself on every inch of his soul. The last day of the year he'd be on this line, the last time he'd have a chance to see Daehyun before next term started. The last chance he'd have to know what the other meant when he told him not to confess. The last opportunity to decide if he was going to stick by his resolution or not.

 

Daehyun sat with his head in his hands. The snow, once something so beautiful and pure for him to look on, spread itself like a coating of ash over his burned-to-the-ground life. He wouldn't see Youngjae. He didn't know what he would have said, but having the opportunity to talk to the younger ripped from his hands made everything far worse.

 _Why didn't I ask for his number?_ Daehyun smacked himself on the forehead for his own idiocy. _Or even his last name? I could've have at least found him online that way._ He curled his fingers into his own hair and yanked at it in frustration. He had a brief memory of the times Youngjae would pull bits from his hair and quickly let go. He couldn't do anthing.

Any moment now, they'd pass by Youngjae's stop.

 _Please, God_ , he thought to himself.

 

Now he'd never know. Whatever he decided to do, it would be too late. In the distance Youngjae could see the train approaching the station. An announcement on the speakers spoke over the heads of the people gathered on the platform.

“We are sorry to announce-”

_No._

“-that this service will not be stopping-”

_This can't be happening._

“-at this station-”

_I need to talk to Daehyun._

“-due to major delays earlier on-”

_This must be a nightmare._

“-from severe weather conditions.”

_Please, God._

The train shot past him, deafeningly loud at full speed. It blurred in his vision, never for a moment able to focus on if there was a certain tanned boy sitting inside. It passed too quickly, the tail wind ripping at his clothes, blowing away the sprinkling of snow on his coat and all of his hope in his heart.


	7. Off The Rails

The ice gripped onto everything like glue, holding the world in a fixed position so time could not push the world forward. Everything was frozen stiff, the days and nights just as dark as each other. The sweet sparkle of frost had become the harsh sheen of black ice before an injury. Roads were shut, the rails were mostly out of use.

Daehyun lived in this stasis of mind that hadn't budged an inch from the moment he'd lost sight of Youngjae. He was on his last train home before his free time, but he felt no excitement for the festive cheer that spending time with his family would bring. If it could indeed bring him any cheer at all. He felt hollow, his mind repeating over the last time the two boys had been together, stuck like a statue on the same train in the same seat at the same on the same day.

There was an envelope tucked in his inner breast pocket. He reached inside his coat like clockwork as the train drew closer to where Youngjae would get on. If the train stopped. If Youngjae would be there. He held the paper with numb hands, barely aware of the way the paper had been crumpled so often it no longer made the gentle crinkling, not even noticing where the corners had roughed down into soft stumps, the dirty marks from being moved from pocket to hands then back to pocket completely invisible to him. Only the writing on the front caught his attention.

_To Youngjae,_

_Well done!_

_-Daehyun x_

He looked up at the doors, and watched as the station shot past his gaze and vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

This was the last time, before the new year. He raised a hand and ran his fingers through his hair, brushing it from his eyes. _Will he stick to his resolution?_

 

The world turned slowly. The calendars were taken down and replaced. The dark sky was filled with fireworks that boomed and echoed off walls and through the streets where people gathered. The colourful lights shimmered off melting ice. The smell of food filled the air, cooking meats and sweet pastries and the ever present stench of alcohol on everyone's tongue. Bodies in the street pushed against each other, clouds of breath mingling with smoke, children grabbing for their parents hands and lovers clinging on to one another, strangers meeting each other and old friends reuniting.

Daehyun tugged at his fringe uncertainly.

 

The sun rose on a clear morning, melting the ice down to puddles that soaked into the hems of trousers and dripped off roof tops down people's necks. The chill remained, keeping everyone in thick raincoats, but the silvery-white world had begun to fade.

Daehyun sat on the edge of his seat. It was the first day of term, he was sure of it. The rails were back to their usual state, stopping at every station. Somehow Daehyun had forgotten how long the journey was when it wasn't a direct line. Each stop was agonising, just wasting time before the stop that mattered.

 _Next stop,_ he told himself as the train pulled out of a station. _Next stop, and I'll see Youngjae again._

He clutched hold of the letter, now off-colour and covered in creases. It would be late, very late to give it to him. But, if he was lucky, it would be okay. _If only I'd just asked for his number,_ he chided himself.

The train slowed to a screaming halt and Daehyun held his breath.

The doors opened.

A few passengers climbed on board.

He waited.

No sign of Youngjae so far.

There was the whistle of conductors and the slam of doors closing.

No Yongjae.

The doors in front of him shut.

No one was running towards the train.

The engine started.

He glanced up the carriages.

No familiar faces.

The train pulled out of the station and he bit his lip to stop it from trembling. _The wrong day,_ he told himself, _you got the wrong day. It must be tomorrow that term starts._

He looked down at the letter. It was pushing it, badly, but he had time.

He still had time.

_Tomorrow._

 

The next day, the train pulled into the station and he clutched the letter in his hand. This time, for sure, he'd talk to Youngjae. Everything would work out.

The train stopped. The doors opened. Passengers filed on.

No Youngjae.

He glanced up and down the carriages. The doors were closing. The whistles were blown.

No Youngjae.

The train engine started up and the station began to roll slowly out of his view. There wasn't even a hint of someone running onto the station in a last-minute panic.

If he didn't catch Youngjae soon, it would be too late.

 

The next day, there was no Youngjae. Nor the day after, or the day after that. Days turned into weeks. Daehyun gave up with the letter. It sat in his breast pocket untouched.

The world turned around him, the ice melted and the days warm. He remained stuck on that snowy winter day, frozen stiff and cold to the core.

He stopped being embarrassed about crying on the train.  


	8. Back On Track

The rain cascaded down on the world with explosive force, filling every crevice of silence with a noise like a thoroughly impressed full-house audience. It washed away the salt that had kept the cities moving during the icy months, leaving odd lumps of grit in slowly dissolving heaps on the side of roads. Everything was greys and browns but for the few green buds where life poked its head up to make sure the winter was over. For miles around there was a layer of umbrellas keeping the people of the cities mostly dry.

Youngjae grumbled and pulled his coat tighter over his arm cast. He hadn't even bothered to try to get it on properly after weeks of wrestling with sweaters and t shirts, he just let it drape across his shoulders like a cloak. It didn't matter too much, now he was under the shelter of the train station, but he'd struggled to keep the cast try when he'd headed off to catch his train.

The crowds of people that surged everywhere during the late months had dissipated and by this point it didn't matter which train he caught. But he had to wait. He had to get this train.

The train slowed to a stop, screeching over the sound of rain on metal and filling his nostrils with the familiar stench of hot engines and oil. His hair ruffled about his face and he had to cling on to his coat to stop the tail wind from blowing it off. The doors opened with that same click-hiss and he stepped on.

“Youngjae?”

“Dae-” Youngjae began as he spotted the familiar face, before he was cut off by a suffocating hug that squeezed his bruised ribs and crushed his arm between their chests. “Daehyun! My arm! My ribs! Please let go!” He managed to wheeze out.

The older stood back immediately, eyes wide and shining where tears were building up. “Youngjae. Oh my God, Youngjae, you're back. I didn't think I'd see you again. I thought you'd...” He didn't finish, instead gulping down his words. A frown creased his brow. “What happened to you? Are you okay.”

“I'll be fine in a minute once my horrendous injuries recover from your attack. Move over, let me sit down.”

Daehyun guided the injured boy to a chair, who sat down with a relieved expression. On closer inspection, Daehyun realised, Youngjae was sitting slightly askew as though worried about leaning on one side too much. His leg, on the same side as the arm, was stretched out before him like it couldn't bend easily.

“Youngjae, what the hell happened? You look awful.”

“Wow, I must bad considering you look like you haven't slept in weeks.”

“Youngjae.” Daehyun frowned a little.

The younger opened his mouth to make another remark, but at Daehyun's stern watery-eyed look he decided to give it a miss. “We got together during results day and went out to celebrate. There was ice everywhere and we kept falling over, and it didn't help we were kinda tipsy. Anyway, we go to cross a road and all my friends run ahead, and I'm just behind them and I slip up on this huge sheet of ice I didn't even see. I just...” He mimed walking along a street and falling over with his hands.

“You got these injuries from falling over?”

“No, let me finish.” Youngjae gave Daehyun's head a playful flick, knocking some of the hair from his eyes. “So I'm lying there on the floor and this car comes around the corner. The driver doesn't see me because I'm on the ground and I'm trying to stand up but I can't because it's so slippery. My friends rush over trying to warn the guy in the car but by the time he's hitting the breaks it's too late and his wheels are all on the ice and...” Youngjae gestured to his injured side. “I was in hospital for ages because they thought I might have taken a bad hit to the head, but I was okay in the end.”

“Yeah, there's not much a hit to the head could do to you that hadn't already been done,” Daehyun teased before he could stop himself.

“I nearly die and this is what I get? This mistreatment?” Youngjae huffed and tried to cross his arms, then winced.

“All right, you're right. I mean, you're left- considering your right side is-” He cut himself off at Youngjae's glare, “Okay, I'm stopping!”

“You're unbelievable.”

“Hey, I'm sorry for being an ass. I'm glad you're okay. It didn't even occur to me that you might have got hurt. Ah, I'm such an idiot. But you can't have been in hospital this entire time?”

“Nah, puppy boy convinced diva guy to drive me home until I was good to walk longer distances. He's not so annoying once you get to know him, the diva guy I mean. Honestly once he dropped the whole 'better-than-you' thing it was like having my mother dote on me every five minutes. Puppy boy gets a better deal than I thought, turns out once the diva likes you he'll do whatever just to make sure you're happy.”

Daehyun smiled a little, imagining the younger being carried around on a throne. “It's good to know you were being looked after.”

Youngjae glanced at him on hearing his soft tone. “If you didn't think I'd been hurt or something, where did you think I was all this time?”

Daehyun dropped his eyes down to his lap and fiddled with his hands. “I don't know... I just...” He shifted nervously, before a thought struck him. “Oh! I, um, I got you the gift like I said I would, but...”

Youngjae raised an eyebrow as Daehyun rummaged in his pocket and produced a filthy, battered envelope. His gaze settled on the words on the front.

“To Youngjae, well done, Daehyun.” he read, and he left a pause as his gaze lingered on the 'x'. “Wow, you really have a way with words. What a speech.”

“Shut up,” Daehyun grumbled, “It doesn't matter any more, the date's passed.”

“The date? What are you talking about?” Youngjae reached over and snapped the envelope from Daehyun's hands, fumbling for a moment as he broke through the seal with only one set of fingers free. Two crumpled pieces of card slid out and onto his lap. He picked one up and stared.

“Yeah, like I said, they're not really... in effect any more.”

“You bought two tickets to see Starlight Express as a gift for me?”

“Yeah... I figured since it was about trains and... You do musical theatre...”

“This was for a performance weeks ago!”

“Yeah. I didn't get them to you on time...”

“Daehyun you can't just buy people tickets without asking them! What if I had been busy? What if I hated that musical? What if I was going with someone else already, like my family? What if, as it actually did, something unexpected happened and I couldn't go?” Daehyun squirmed under Youngjae's critical gaze and the younger's expression softened. “That was really sweet of you, Daehyun. Thanks for the thought, even though it didn't work out.”

“You mean that?”

“Of course I mean it. It would have been really nice.” He looked down at the tickets, running his fingers around the battered corners, “But, why didn't you go? You could have taken someone else with you?”

Daehyun glanced away, not able to meet Youngjae's eyes. “It wouldn't have been the same. If it wasn't with you, I mean. It wouldn't have the same meaning.”

“Oh...”

They both fell quiet, neither sure what to say next. The journey continued on while Daehyun fiddled with his over-grown hair and Youngjae fiddled with the expired tickets.

“Did you do it?” Daehyun eventually asked.

“Do what?”

“Your resolution?” There was a silence between them and Daehyun gave in to turn his head towards Youngjae. “Did you confess?”

Youngjae's expression was something Daehyun couldn't quite fathom. He blinked at Daehyun in confusion, brow creased a little and looking at him like he'd asked if he'd asked him if he'd taken up surgery as a hobby.

“No, Daehyun. I didn't confess,” he answered slowly, as though Daehyun would know this.

“Oh. Why?” Daehyun tried to keep his tone light, and failed miserably.

“Because... You asked me not to. So... I figured it wasn't what you wanted...” Youngjae continued to look at him like he'd sprouted a second head.

“So... Has anyone confessed to you?”

“No...”

“Okay...”

They both sat in silence for some time. The train trundled on and the sky got darker. The last passenger got off at the stop before Youngjae's, leaving the two boys alone. _It's now or never,_ Daehyun told himself and took a deep breath, before turning to the younger.

“Youngjae, there's something I need to tell you,” He said quickly, gripping onto his nerve before it slipped away.

“Um, okay?” Youngjae blinked at him.

Daehyun took a deep breath. “I didn't want you to confess because it scared me too much,” Youngjae was frowning at him disapprovingly but he kept on, “I know we only know each other from catching the train home and I know that we technically haven't known each other that long and this is the only time we're ever spending time together but,” he paused and clenched his hands in his lap, then reached out and put one hand on Youngjae's as he looked the younger in the eyes. “Listen, Youngjae, I really like you. A lot. More than I thought I did. And this time without you I couldn't bare to think of never seeing you again. I was miserable when I didn't have you to look forward to at the end of the day. Please... Please accept my feelings.”

Youngjae stared at him in stunned silence before saying, “You told me not to confess, just so you could confess first?”

Daehyun dropped his gaze, “I couldn't bear the thought of you confessing to someone else.” Just as he moved to pull his hand away, Youngjae was grabbing hold of it like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

“Daehyun, you idiot! I wasn't going to confess to someone else!”

Daehyun looked up at him, confused. “What?”

“I was going to confess to you!”

“You... You were?” Daehyun asked, face heating up.

“Yes.” Youngjae replied awkwardly, face reddening as well.

“Oh.” Daehyun's voice was quiet, then, “Oh! I understand now! When I said you shouldn't confess-”

“I thought you were rejecting me!”

“Oh, Oh God I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid, Youngjae, I'm so sorry. I thought I was better at understanding people than this.”

“You're not stupid. I should've made it more clear.” He laced their fingers together, a small smile playing around his mouth.

Daehyun could have melted like the ice earlier that year. “S-so... So we're good, yeah?”

“I think we're a little bit more than good,” Youngjae laughed, and shifted to rest himself against Daehyun, head on his shoulder. The musky smell of the older boy brought him back to the time he'd fallen asleep on him.

Daehyun let himself relax against the other, resting his head on top of Youngjae's and quietly revelling in the softness of his hair and the sweet smell of the product he'd used. He'd never felt more whole in his entire life.

“Daehyun?” Youngjae asked, voice soft and cradling the name like he'd never done before.

“Yeah?” He replied, still thoroughly immersed in the warmth of the other.

“What happened to the undercut?”

“Huh?”

“Your new years resolution was to cut your hair. But your hair looks... Well, it's grown.”

Daehyun snorted a little, “It looks awful, I know. But.. I don't know why, but I thought if I didn't cut my hair and do my resolution, then somehow you wouldn't do your resolution either.”

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.”

“Harsh.” Daehyun frowned a little.

“But I guess it worked, in some way. But please, get it cut soon. It looks terrible and I miss seeing your face properly.”

Daehyun laughed a little and nuzzled the younger, “Okay, I'll get it cut.”

As they laughed together and cuddled, the train began to slow down.

“Ah, this is my stop.” Youngjae placed a quick kiss on Daehyun's cheek and stood up, not noticing the day the older's face went pink in surprise. “I'll see you tomorrow. Please see if you can get those tickets refunded, and please for the love of God get a hair cut.”

“Wow, less than an hour in and you're already demanding these things.”

“Shut up.” Youngjae grinned as he said it, and stepped off the train. He stood on the station and waved to Daehyun who waved back, and blew a kiss ass the train pulled away. They continued to watch each other until they were out of view.

Daehyun leaned back in his chair and let out a long content sigh. He pulled at his coat and inhaled, the faint smell of Youngjae coming back to him. His hand was still warm where Youngjae's fingers had been. His cheek tingled with the lingering feeling of the kiss.

His expression dropped and he hit himself on the forehead. _I didn't ask for his number!_ He shook his head at his own mistake and ran a hand through his hair. Tomorrow he would definitely nt mess up.

_Tomorrow._


	9. Unexpected Passenger Flow

The heavy rain of the previous day had cleared the skies, leaving only a handful of white fluffy clouds floating in the blue like swans on a pond. The cold late-winter early-spring sun left a shine on the wet surfaces, lighting up the metal railways and shimmering on the rooftops of trains like a streak of fire.

Daehyun hummed and tapped his feet impatiently, eyes fixed on the doors where just outside he could see Youngjae waiting to board. As the doors opened he stepped forward to greet the younger, but was cut off by a large group who filled the carriage. Youngjae stepped in after them, looking a little amused.

“I guess we don't have our usual journey home,” Daehyun said, choosing to hold onto a post while Youngjae leaned in the doorway.

“More company than we expected. I wouldn't worry about it, I heard them talking at the station. They'll be getting off at the next stop.”

“Good. It would be nice if we could have a bit of a quiet journey.”

“Quiet?” Youngjae raised his eyebrows, “How quiet do you mean?”

“Depends on our luck,” Daehyun grinned mischievously.

Youngjae squinted at him for a moment before his eyes widened and he turned his face away, cheeks red.

Daehyun sniggered a little to himself, “I didn't actually ask but, I guess your exam went well in the end?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah it went fine. I think I actually did better on the theory. I guess your gift incentive was a good idea.” He smiled a little at the thought of Daehyun's failed present.

“Ahh, yeah. I haven't refunded those yet. Hey! Don't glare at me like that, I'll get it done soon. This weekend. I'll do it this weekend.”

“Uhuh. Okay, you better do. If you forget to and don't get your money back I'll be really annoyed.”

“Don't worry I won't forget- Oh! Actually, before I forget, pass me your phone!”

“My phone?” Youngjae asked, sliding his hand into his pocket, “why?”

“I'm going to put my number into it,” Daehyun explained as Youngjae unlocked the phone and passed it over, “Then you can text me and I'll get your number off you and we'll be able to text each other!”

Youngjae blinked as Daehyun typed on his phone. “So, this is your way of asking for my number?”

“Well.... Yes.” Daehyun shrugged and lifted the phone and took a quick selfie, throwing up a quick peace sign.

“What are you doing?”

“Setting the caller ID, that way you know it's definitely me you're sending long declarations of your undying passion to.”

“Give me my phone back!” Youngjae snatched the device back and glanced down at the screen. “Jung?”

“Yes, that's me, Jung Daehyun.”

“Jung Daehyun The Handsome Train Boy?”

“It has a nice ring to it.”

“Were the fifteen heart emojis next to it necessary?”

“You're right. I should have stopped at twelve.”

“You're ridiculous.” Youngjae rolled his eyes and started to type. Shortly after Daehyun's phone pinged as a text came through.

“Yoo Youngjae?” Daehyun read as he opened the text.

“Yes,” Youngjae said, somewhat defensively.

“That's so cute! Your name is so cute. Ah, I'm jealous.” He looked up from his phone to see that the younger had turned a very striking shade of red. “Aww, look at you!” He reached out and squeezed one of his cheeks.

“Let go!” Youngjae batted his hand away, face still red. “People are going to stare at us if you keep acting like that.”

“You're not a PDA type of guy?”

“That's not the point!” Youngjae huffed and tucked his phone away.

The train started to slow down at the two boys glanced at each other, then at the group that was standing up to get off the train, then back at each other. A sly grin was spreading across Daehyun's face as the group alighted.

Before anything could happen, a handful of young school kids boarded the train and took up some of the seats, chatting animatedly. Youngjae barely stifled a laugh at Daehyun's look of surprise.

“You might have to wait just a bit longer before you act on whatever scheme you're planning,” Youngjae teased, lips pulled into a smirk as he shifted to take one of the free seats.

Daehyun plopped down into a seat opposite him and pouted at the younger, before a thought occurred to him. He pulled his phone out and held it up.

“What are you-” Youngjae began, before recognising the gesture. “Hey, did you just take a photo of me?”

Daehyun didn't reply, instead focussing on his phone intently. Youngjae felt his own phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out, opening the message to find the photo that had just been taken send to him with a number of messy hearts drawn onto it.

He raised his eyebrows and took a quick snap of Daehyun, who looked surprised that there seemed to be a photo-war happening, and began to draw on it. When he'd added the last letter of 'drag queen' onto the highly edited image, he sent it proudly.

Daehyun, insulted, replied with a selfie covered in sparkly effects. Youngjae replied with an even more sparkly, highly filtered selfie. The war went back and forth until it dissolved into whoever could make the best edit of themselves as a fictional character. It wasn't until the train stopped and the last of the passengers got off, did their war come to an end.

Youngjae watched the carriage empty and waited for someone to board. When no one did, he turned his head a little and opened his mouth to make a comment at the older, but was cut off.

Daehyun was upon him, crawling up onto his lap and hands cupping his face. When those plump lips brushed against Youngjae's, he younger let out a gasp he couldn't stop. Their eyes met and he knew that Daehyun wouldn't do anything unless Youngjae wanted it. He raised his good hand and brought the older's face down to his.

Their lips met, soft and gentle, a short lived kiss that felt so long overdue. The second kiss lingered, Youngjae's hand sliding down to Daehyun's shoulders. The third kiss opened their mouths very slightly and their tongues met tentatively, tasting each other. There was a brief moment where they broke apart and looked at each other, then it was all too much.

The next kiss was passionate and heated, Daehyun's hands sliding into Youngjae's hair and Youngjae's hand grabbing at Daehyun's upper arm. Their breath came heavily as their mouths worked against each other, tongues tasting and and teeth tugging at lips. Neither of them could hold back the small noises of pleasure that escaped them and they lost track of how any times they'd kissed, and honestly didn't care so long as it it lead into another one.

They finally broke apart, gasping for air and chests heaving, neither knowing how long they'd been at it. Daehyun gazed down at Youngjae, mesmerised. The younger was flushed red, usually tidy hair thoroughly ruffled, lips lightly swollen and red, eyes half-lidded and hazy.

“Say cheese,” he breathed out and raised his phone, taking a quick snap of Youngjae.

The younger blinked a few times and frowned, “Did you just... take a photo of me?”

“You look so hot right now, I couldn't not take a photo to be honest with you.”

“Give me that! Delete it” Youngjae reached for the phone, but Daehyun held it away.

“No! I like it. It'll be nice to look back on when I'm lonely.”

“You're so gross,” Youngjae scrunched his nose off.

“Oh yeah? Then why did you want to confess to me? What was it about me that took you? Was it my incredible good looks?”

“Well that's the only thing you've got left, isn't it,” Youngjae teased.

“Hey! I have natural charms and charisma as well!” Daehyun huffed.

“If you do, I didn't notice,” Youngjae sniggered.

“Well fine, what was it then?”

Youngjae grinned and poked his tongue out, “You'll never know.”

“Oh come on, I'll tell you what drew me to you~”

“I already know that, so I don't need you to tell me.”

“What? How can you know?”

“This face? Honestly you've been eyeing me up since our first journey together.”

Daehyuns face heated up and he crawled off Youngjae's lap to sit next to him, “Ah, you got me there.”

“What? No, I was joking!”

“But it's true! The first time I saw you I thought you must've been a celebrity!”

“Shut up,” Youngjae looked away, embarassed.

“Hey,” Daehyun grinned and leaned on the younger's shoulder, “You should tell me what it is you like about me~”

“I could, or I could get off at my stop,” Youngjae said, just as the train slowed down at his station.

“Whaaat? I swear these journeys are getting shorter!”

“Well now you actually have my number, you won't have to wait until tomorrow to talk to me. I'll remind you about the tickets. Also, please get a haircut.”

“So mean,” Daehyun said, putting a hand over his heart like he'd been wounded.

“It's tough love,” Youngjae laughed, before giving Daehyun one last kiss and heading to the opening doors.

“Take the train all the way to my stop sometime!” Daehyun called out.

“We'll talk about it later!” Youngjae called back from the station.

They waved each other goodbye, Daehyun throwing heart hands at Youngjae who gave him smaller heart signs with his fingers. When the younger was out of sight, Daehyun glanced down at his phone and saw he had a message. He opened it and grinned at the three words written.


	10. Last Stop

The world turned. The ground grew warm and flowers blossomed. The leaves changed from vibrant greens to oranges and red. Ponds frosted over. Snow melted and green buds poked from the earth. The world went about its cycle like a train going around the tracks.

A cold wind rustled the coats of the many people waiting at the station, all bundled up in scarves and hats. Though the rush hour had passed, there was still a number of late-leavers with large bags of shopping and an air of exhaustion as they waited for the train. Among them stood a young man with black hair cut neatly across his brow and a thick sweater to keep him from the cold. On his shoulder rested a bag with the last of his belongings crammed tightly in.

Youngjae hated the holiday season- or, at least the human tide it brought with it. He was glad he'd worked out a system to avoid it years ago. In fact, that system had brought him more than just a way of avoiding the crowds. As the train he'd been waiting for pulled into the station he could see one of the major things that had come into his life sat on one of the seats.

“You made it!” Daehyun called happily, making space to allow Youngjae to sit beside him.

“I wasn't exactly struggling for time. I just had to grab my last things and get here. I still think we should've kept everything at my place and called the moving trucks to there. Your place is so far away from the apartment it's ridiculous.”

“Hey, it worked out better and my parents wanted to pay for it. By the time I'd have gone home from work, got my things together then got to your place it would have been really late.” Daehyun slung an arm around Youngjae's shoulders and pulled him close. “Besides, it's easier for me to drive from my place than to try to park outside your house. There's never space there!”

Youngjae chuckled a little, “How weird is it that soon it won't be my place or your place, it's going to be our place.”

“So close to work as well. It's pretty exciting.” He grinned and leaned in to place a gentle kiss to Youngjae's lips, who returned the gesture happily.

They smiled at each other before Youngjae frowned a little and reached up. He brushed his fingers over the shaved side of Daehyun's head and dug this tips of his fingers into the longer strands on the top. He fiddled for a moment before removing a shiny piece of plastic.

“You have confetti in your hair,” he observed, and flicked the offending decoration in Daehyun's face.

“Ah, there's always something this time of year.” He brushed his fingers through his hair, working out a few more pieces of confetti.

“Maybe I should buy you a hair net or a hat?” Youngjae sniggered.

“Hey, you can't talk. Last time you were on stage you had those ridiculous tattoos on your face. Do you know what it's like waking up and seeing your face covered in smeared face-paint and all the bedsheets ruined. You better remember to wash properly before bed at the apartment.”

“That was one time, and you know I'm better at cleaning it up! You're the reason my carpet had glitter in it for three months.”

“Our apartment is going to get so messy during the winter. Especially when you do your seasonal plays.”

“At least I have an excuse. You just get covered in stuff for no reason.”

“Excuses don't get stains out of the sheets,” Daehyun teased.

“You got them out in the end.” Youngjae rolled his eyes. “Anyway, did you ask your coworkers if they'd make it to the housewarming party?”

“Junhong and Yongguk are up for it, everyone else is busy. I hope the ceiling isn't too low, Junhong is so tall these days he might take the light fxings out if he's not careful. What about the theatre lot?”

“Himchan and Jongup are free, and Himchan's quit his diet so he won't be annoying while he's there.”

“No more annoying than he already is, you mean.”

“You know, I really can't tell weather or not you get along. But he's way more chilled these days, and Jongup's been chattier lately. He'll be a lot of fun.”

“Oh wow, I'm getting really excited now. We're going to be moved in! You and me!”

“I know. I was thinking about this when I was waiting for the train. It's weird how we met on this train a few years ago with no idea... And now, this is the last time we'll ever be on it...”

“Huh... Yeah, I didn't think of it like that. I guess this train has taken us more places than just home. Hey, remember that time it was completely empty and I undressed you and-”

“Daehyun, shut up! People might hear!”

The older sniggered and leaned in, brushing his lips against Youngjae's ear. “Now we'll have all the alone time in the apartment, we can try anything out.”

Youngjae leaned away and frowned at Daehyun's wiggling eyebrows, his face burning red. “You're so embarrassing, we're in public!”

“I know, and your blush is so cute.”

“Shut up!”

“You love when I do this, though. You know you do.”

Youngjae didn't answer, instead pouted at the other. He hated to admit, but Daehyun was right. He loved the older man's teasing and how blunt he was about his feelings. The sheer straightforwardness of him had been what Youngjae was drawn to in the first place. He felt, more than anyone else, he could trust Daehyun with anything.

 

The station that Daehyun usually got off was quiet, the late hours not allowing for much transport or many passengers. The older man took in a deep breath as he looked at the station he'd considered a symbol of home for so many years. A warm hand wrapped around his own and he glanced to the side to find Youngjae smiling at him.

“Hey, you know what I just noticed?” He asked.

“What?” Youngjae raised his eyebrows a little.

“The train line we're on is red on the map.”

“Okay, and?”

Daehyun shrugged a little, “It's like a red string of fate, isn't it?”

Youngjae snorted and shook his head, “Was that you trying to be romantic?”

“I can be far more romantic than that!” Daehyun huffed indignantly.

“Okay, sure you can.” Youngjae rolled his eyes and went to walk away, but was suddenly grabbed and lifted from the ground. “What are yo-” he began, startled.

“My love! You will never have to set another foot on the ground while I stand! I shall carry you great distances if it pleases you! No longer will you be expected to travel like a commoner!”

“Daehyun put me down!”

“Anything to please you my darling!” Daehyun set Youngjae down and knelt before him “Anything you ask of me, my darling, shall be yours!”

“Well, first of all, you can get up and stop being an idiot. Then you can buy me a coffee for the road home.”

“Anything you desire!” Daehyun jumped up and grabbed Youngjae's hand, laughing as he lead the younger to the exit of the train station.

Youngjae looked at his laughing boyfriend and smiled, thanking every person on that train years ago who could've been between them but instead pushed them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story!!


	11. Bonus!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This hit 2000 views on AFF so I added this as a celebration.

 

Summer filled the world in bright greens and reds and yellows and oranges and blues and pinks and every other colour that stood out vividly from shop windows to flower beds. The heat wafted up from the pavements and mugged up the interior of the train that Daehyun had to catch to get to and from work. Summer was a lot more fun, he realised, when you actually had a summer break. He'd only just started his job, which didn't give him much of a break, and it was had to deal with the long journeys in the heat. He was beginning to wonder if singing in a high end restaurant, regardless of the good pay, was worth the extensive travel he had to endure.

Surrounded by kids travelling home from college, Daehyun inched further back into his seat and kept his eyes on the view outside the window. The rolling hills and fields had a slight yellow tint as autumn edged closer with each day. Sweat clung to his skin a little where the train heated up more with the presence of more people, and he thanked his foresight to pack a loose top to change into after being in his uniform all day. He let his eyes close for a moment as the heat overtook him, drowning in the muffled babbling of students chattering about the start of their new term.

The train slowed to a halt at a station about half an hour into his journey and a number of fresh-faced students boarded. He eyed them up a little, slightly jealous of the long holiday they'd just had, when his eyes fell on one person in particular. His breath caught a little.

He was beautiful. His skin was soft, smooth over the gentle curves of his face and decorated with a few small moles. His soft looking dark hair had been cropped and swept to one side, the edges hugging his fluffy cheeks. The sweetly curved nose, pretty lips and long beautiful eyes made Daehyun wonder if some sort of young model had stepped into the carriage. Only the way the boy slouched against a handhold and scrolled through his phone, unnoticed by everyone else, did Daehyun conclude that he was in fact no more than just a very attractive student.

 _He's probably really popular, with lots of cool friends,_ Daehyun thought. For some reason this caused a twinge of distress inside him. _That's what you get,_ he chided himself _, for falling for strangers._ But it was fine, he assured himself, to fall a little bit in love with a stranger you'll likely never see again. That's what life was for. It was full of little wonders, little uplifts to keep you going during dull times.

Much to his surprise, the boy was on his train the next day as well. Another little wonder, another little uplift. These wonders and uplifts continued as he realised that the attractive stranger was taking the same train home as him almost every day. It was a nice familiarity, something to look forward to when he really wasn't up for the travel, a little ray of light during cloudy days. It was always a bit of a sad sight to see the guy alight at his stop, but the hour until he got home was not long enough to sink into despair.

Autumn rose up from the grounds and charred the world into a blaze of reds and golds and oranges and browns, dried up the fields and breezed cool winds through the cities and over the countryside. The bitter air tinted with the smell of earth and the cinnamon spice on everything he consumed filled Daehyun's senses. The train was cooler these days, less need for windows to be left open, but not quite cold enough to merit all of them being locked shut. He spent his journey picking bits of dead leaf from his hair and clothes.

The attractive stranger had started to notice their similar travel patterns. There was short moments of eye contact where the other noticed that once again Daehyun was on his train. These moments sent small jolts through him that he pretended not to notice as he smiled warmly back. The smile was never returned. He continued to let his mind imagine what sort of person this guy was. _Some cool city guy,too hardened by the industrial life to notice anyone else._ Sometimes he let his imagination run a little too wild. _An alien from another planet, disguised as a human, here to take over the world by wooing hoards of screaming girls._ With these little stories rolling around his head, he continued on with his daily life.

Winter blanketed over autumn, darkening the colours and covering the dead leaves with glitter. Windows bloomed with frosted fern patterns and the ground crunched beneath footsteps. The cold nipped and bit at any bare skin, leaving a flush of pink on everyone's cheeks, and brought with it nights full of howling winds. Amongst the chaotic beauty of it all came the festive season, full of people shopping. The train became busier than ever.

One particularly busy day, Daehyun had found himself unable to find a seat immediately. He'd stood, unbothered at first, until more and more people boarded. By the time the half-hour stop came by, there were so many people he couldn't even tell if his travel companion had even boarded. They were jostled about and with each stop people boarded and alighted.

The train reached a stop a fair way into his journey and ground to an awkward, jerky halt. Someone bumped into him with a muffled “Ouf! Sorry, sorry about that,” and he looked down to see who it was.

The boy's fluffy brown hair covered just over his eyes and the high collar of his cosy sweater obscured his lower face. It was an odd angle to look down at someone, from behind no less, but something about him seemed familiar. Daehyun smiled and instinctively placed a hand on the guy's shoulder to keep him stable as the two were pressed together by the crowd of other people. He only just caught the mumbled thanks, and barely controlled the smile that pushed at the corners of his mouth.

The train jerked suddenly, and he barely managed to grab the other guy before they all fell over. The boy turned a little to mumble out a quick thanks, and it was this change of angle that suddenly clarified who he'd been holding onto.

“Hey,” he said, before he could stop himself, “You're the guy who's always on this train this time in the evening, right?”

 

 


End file.
